updates + it's my birthday

1. i'm turning 22 this year. i suppose this past year has been sort of a giant disappointment. this same time last year i thought i was moving to new york with my then boyfriend. i thought i might have graduated by this time the following year. i thought i'd be making enough $$ to move away (or at least out of my house). but here i am in 2010, none of these goals accomplished, everything different and still oddly the same. same because i'm still in hawaii. still going to school. still making barely enough. still. there's plenty to be happy about.

i've made a lot of new friends this year. i've got the best friends i could have ever asked for. prior to this, you see, i didn't really enjoy being social. i didn't enjoy maintaining my friendships because (not to dog any of you guys) i just didn't enjoy their company as much as i enjoy the company of the people i've met lately. or maybe i'm just more open or something who knows.

2. i quit my job today. i don't really want to get into the nitty gritty but a few weeks ago a man came into the store and started shouting about how did i feel knowing that the store might close soon. it really got under my skin and i've been panicked lately. there have been signs that this might be true, and these things have left me with an overwhelming stress. i mean, going to work every day worried that this might be my last day is not something i want in my life. plus, i've been planning to go back to school and the schedule there isn't that flexible, i don't make enough money to start moving out like i want to, and i don't really see any real ability to grow in the company. even if they won't close (which i sincerely hope they do not), it was just not a good fit for me for the long term.

today i accepted a job at starbucks. i'm kind of excited, mostly sad because i really love my coworkers at satura. but it's back to corporate america for me, i suppose. i don't mind the free coffee or tea every week, the larger variety of waste to choose from for meals the next day, or the fact that i have a zillion locations to choose from if i want to pick up shifts. it's a slight pay cut from satura initially, but i know that since i'm pretty driven that i'll get an assistant manager position as soon as my three month probation is over. i'm hopeful, and that's all that matters.

3. the weather has been so hot lately that all i can think of is frozen beverages. mostly orange julius, which used to be my absolute favorite summer time fix when i was still working in ala moana. i could also really go for a POG (passion orange guava) ice blended from coffee bean right now, but i don't think they offer the flavor anymore.

today i think i'll be attending the palolo honwanji bon dance. i was supposed to go last week with my mom, but it turns out it's the last weekend in july. i've never been a fan of bon dances, mostly because the food is too greasy, the people are too fat and loud, and mostly because it's just way too hot to be outside this time of year. but i get the tradition, i get the whole sense of community yadda yadda. i guess it's just not a cultural practice i like to partake in.

i know that complaining about it just before going is probably not a good idea. so i'll try and be positive about it. i'll wave at all the familiar faces, the nisei and sansei, some of which i've gone to school with or grown up around. and i'll partake in the ritualistic dance around the center thing-a-ma-jig. whatever. tonight will be fun.

and even if it isn't, at least there's alcohol later, right?