me and my illness

I suppose this has been the worst week to be hit by the stomach flu. Something I ate on Friday or Saturday has been bothering me since Sunday. This week I've been surrounded by so much delicious food (my dad's birthday dinner, mom's home cooking three nights in a row, pizza at J.J.'s) and it saddens me so much that my body is refusing it and just simply expelling it from my body. I'm sorry if this is TMI for some of you but I feel the need to talk about it.

When I was a kid I remember not understanding what it meant to get sick. I couldn't really grasp the idea of being perfectly well one moment then feeling like the world was ending the next. I remember someone once trying to explain to me at the age of eight or nine what the stomach flu was. "It's like, you ate a bunch of really bad men with guns and they're inside guarding your stomach, kicking all the yummy food out." And really, that's all it really is.

I'm lucky, of course, that I'm not vomiting. I feel like food exiting the body that route tends to be unpredictable. For the most part, my life is the same. I just sit on the toilet longer and have probably used a months worth of toilet paper in the last five days. I'm fine, really. I think I'm able to handle most solids again. But... quite frankly... I'm too afraid to try.

None the less, I've somehow been able to subsist on liquids. Soups, gatorade, jello. Quite the menu! I still feel hungry all the time. Not so much right now... which is worrying me. Am I getting used to not being able to eat? Is this normal?

This is such a scattered blog and I guess that's the point. Lack of food has made me loopy. On the bright side, I've lost five pounds in the last five days and while that isn't a fact to be really proud of I guess I'm trying to stay positive! Screw exercising. I'll just keep eating somewhat bad food and keep getting sick until I'm a size zero again.

Kidding, of course.